Twilight Nostalgia

{from weheartit.com}

Remember when Twilight was this beautiful, crazy wonderful novel chanced, upon in small bookstore stacks somewhere? I remember picking it up at a Barnes and Noble near my house, thinking I loved the cover but it might just be too cheesetastic for my taste. But then I began to read, and my eyes stopped roving the pages at every word like tracks, and began to see scenes flicker through. I was in it, living it, breathing it, feverishly. I 'needed' the next novel. I fell in love with Edward, and his polite, mature, refinement; and sympathized with his self doubt, his obsessive desire to protect Bella from his own self, and nature.


I loved Bella, because in all actuality she could be any one of us, yet she was fully fleshed out; fully clumsy, intelligent, and confident in many other ways. I remember how it made me feel about literature, restoring the beauty of words, and the power of a wonderful story. My view in terms of my own writing completely shifted, reminding me the beauty of such a talent; of having people live and breathe a world you composed in your dreams; making people hope through characters, and having them wish they were real when the last page was turned.  I fell in love with Twilight right before it all became big business, tabloids, and scandals.


There's so many people on a Twilight frenzy now that its almost understandable to forget that special feeling. The magic seems to be gone, and might return once it all simmers down.


I love the movies, and I love the actors. I am actually happy that Twilight introduced me to Robert Pattinson because overall, he seems to be a great, regular guy. He's creative, and adorkable, and thats what draws him and makes him intriguing. But, when you see crazed fans after him, so that he almost gets run over by a cab, or that his and Kristen's privacy has basically gone to the dumps because everyone wants a piece, it makes you wonder about the sanity of some.


Then there's Stephenie Meyer, whom I called my all time favorite author once. I still give her credit, but now where is she? She used to talk to the fans one on one, give correspondence. Every now and then she would give updates on the writing process. Now it's like she's turned on us. She's too big for us now. And the other side of this is that the fandom has changed. Many of us are such whiny, vindictive, psychopaths {said with as much love as is possible}. Its like everything is so catty and juvenile now, therefore making the whole allure around Twilight dissipate into this infantile thing.


I wish it would go back to the way it was before. I am seriously happy for its success, but sometimes success comes with a bittersweet aftertaste.


Bailey, one of the Twilight youtubers, just posted a video about recent changes she's making to conventions such as TwiCon, and her own personal videos. This post stemmed from watching and agreeing with the fact that Twilight seems like work now, instead of this fun gathering of friends who simply loved the story. Really it's like stumbling on to treasure and then going back home to find everyone else has one too.


I've already gone off on a tangent, but I seriously miss those days when I had my dog-eared copy of Twilight in my bag, and I could get on a bus, take it out and journey into my own world. I might see someone else with the book, and think, "Wow, its awesome, I hope they enjoy it." But, now you do it, and someone has something to say, or you see tabloids everywhere spewing lies, or you see merchandise {some of which I own, including my hand-painted converses} strewn everywhere, on the backs of every teenage girl under fifteen.


Yes, I can't wait for New Moon, Eclipse, and even Breaking Dawn the movie, but I also can't wait until it begins to die down just a little bit.