No One Will Love You...If You Don't

“If you respect yourself and you love yourself, that’s the only way anybody else is going to.”

Kristen Stewart

I can't tell you how many times I've grappled with this statement. I've often felt like the one sitting in the middle of the room with a dunce cap smashed on to my head. Queen of the Dorks. I talked to my family and friends, hoping to glean some answers from them about why I felt this way. 'No one likes me, nobody cares, and no matter how much I try to get them to, I'll never be the girl,  guys ask out first, or the one everyone's thrilled to be around.': I would shrill. Right now, I shake my head at the emo-sounding angst of those words...but they are no less true. It's only in recent years that I'm starting to really understand what the statement above means. I used to think that it was so mean of people to dislike others' merely because  they feel badly about themselves (I still think it, depending on the circumstances!). But now, I see differently. If you don't understand that you are worthy of love, life, and joy; if you do not look in the mirror and cherish your beauty and quirks, then it is not necessarily the responsibility of others to do so. God has given you the keys to be the person you want to be, and it will not always be easy, but all the love you need is in Him, and therefore in you! God's love for you is the beginning of confidence. 

Confidence of one of those enigmatic characteristics that gives a person the most irresistible flare. Most of us can spot it when we see it. On the street, in school, at the mall, or in the most obvious of places, 'Celeb-land.' The confident woman will be assured. She'll stand up straight (and if not straight, in a stance which radiates strength.' With her best face, she'll move through the world, interacting with it, looking everyone directly in the eye, but begging approval from no one. Aggression will guide her steps, in that she knows what she wants, and she won't be afraid to be forthcoming, to say it exactly as it is. She knows who she is (all that is possible to know in that season of life), and they'll be no facades. They can be humble and serve because it in no way diminishes who they are. With confidence comes the ability to be comfortable in your own skin, without making everyone else uncomfortable to be themselves. It's a power that not only causes you to have more agency in life, but to actually influence others to do the same in their own lives.

This post is a bit of a journey, or rather a 'treasury' of quotes and links which aid in helping you to think about confidence in regards to your own. In my life, I tend to be more confident in some areas than in others. I'll admit that when it comes to looking at myself in the mirror everyday and exclaiming 'Girl, you're the definition of beautiful, talented, and lovely,' it eludes me most of the time. I'm not entirely sure how to walk outside everyday, assured that I am all those wonderful things that God has called me to be. However, it's taken moving to a new country, and turning twenty-five, to start pondering on these little aspects. I, like many of you, may not know exactly how to exude a beautiful confidence, that shows inside and out, without feeling vain or fraudulent; But, I do know the person I'd like to become:

- I want to love myself: Sure, there will always be little niggling things that bother me, but I'd like to carry on the mindset that says, 'If I can change it, then cool, but if I can't, then its a part of me.' God placed it there, so it must be something pretty darn special.

- I want to know that I am beautiful: That's a huge one that I tend to struggle most. I need for this to sink so deeply into me that I'll never divorce myself from it. I want it to exude from me like a strong, and wonderful fragrance.

- I want to know who I am and be proud of it: For the most part, I'm fine in this area, but I never want to question it. I never want to allow myself to cower from intimidation, or sink into a little hermit hole because I've allowed someone's opinions to create a toxin in my life. I want to walk into a room, and initiate conversations; confidently hold out my hands and say 'I'm Britta', with a bright smile on my face. I never want to question if I'm acting 'cool' or fitting someone else's mode of approval.

- I want to chronicle my journey with God to confidence, that I would be able to help someone else going through the same battles. 

It's so easy to forget how important it is to cultivate confidence in your daily life. It's something that comes out of you, and feeds into your work, your goals, and the people around you! It's not something which will come immediately, but with prayer, and determined steps daily, you'll be on your way to becoming the confident person that you want to be!

Here are some treasures on confidence both from the Lord and from jewels scattered around the net!

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

-Psalms 139:13-16 (MSG)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

-2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.

-John 3:16 (MSG)

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.  

-Author Unknown

I am drawn to people who exude a positive attitude and their own sense of personal style. People who embrace their quirks, both inside and out, are beautiful. Not in a perfect, unattainable kind of way, but in a real sense...nothing radiates more than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

-Natalie Bloom- Beauty in Bloom

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”

-Stacey Charter

Learn to Love Your Personal Style: Megan of the awesomely inspiring blog Charade Style has started up a podcast entitled, 'Learn to Love.' Each episode highlights specific concerns such as Fitness, Prioritizing, and Budgeting. This particular one is a favorite of mine, because she gives suggestions on how to cultivate your own personal style, and in turn how to be proud of YOU! The podcasts are £1 each (around $1.60), but totally worth it! 20 pence of each purchase is donated to the Look Good, Feel Better campaign! Browse her blog for more positive suggestions!

Go Get Your Dreams by Kandee Johnson, the story of how God helped her to become one of the greatest makeup artists around! She's one of the most positive influences on the net today, and she'll no doubt inspire you!

Last but not least, a spoken word poem called 'Pretty' performed by Katie Makkai! I spotted it on Gala Darling, and was so moved,I simply had to add it! I hope that it moves you in the same way it did me!

Source: The Apple Tree Cafe